With a Little Creative Writing, Clausen Becomes Good at Football

ESPN analyst / Jimmy Clausen propagandist Tom Friend wrote a glowing review of Jimmy Clausen's career at Notre Dame and his great expectations as a pro. He seemed to leave out or gloss over a few relevant facts. And we wonder why the news industry is going downhill. Below is a segment from his article along with corrections I might have suggested if I were his editor. I know it seems like I'm piling on Jimmy Clausen here, but this time I just couldn't help myself.

As a freshman, coming off elbow surgery, Clausen weighed only 190 pounds and played behind a porous offensive line. Despite having all of these excuses for his poor play, he was vilified criticized during that year's 3-9 season, but bounced back as a sophomore to lead Notre Dame to an unimpressive 6-6 regular season record including an embarrassing shutout at BC, a loss to a poor Syracuse team, a 38-3 rout by USC and its first bowl victory since 1994 (over Hawaii). In the offseason before his junior year, he invited several Irish receivers to his home in Westlake Village, Calif., and the bonding experience paid off with another 6-6 season that featured a loss to powerhouses Navy and UConn and helped get coach Charlie Weis fired. He was picked as a team captain, and ended up throwing 24 of his touchdowns to wide receivers Tate and Michael Floyd.

The Irish slumped to a 6-6 finish, and Clausen was suspiciously sucker punched by an unidentified fan - who he never did press charges against - outside of a South Bend bar after a devastating overtime loss to Connecticut in which Clausen failed to score in the 2nd overtime. But six days later, he threw for 340 yards and five touchdowns in a loss at Stanford.  His ability to persevere despite all the losing at a school whose football program is known for its success is why several general managers, who have requested anonymity and may be lying in an attempt to get other GM's to believe this guy is actually good, believe he is the most NFL-ready quarterback in this year's draft. They say he's already mastered played in an NFL offense, has already been subjected to a leaky offensive line taken many hard hits and has already been part of helped cause a rebuilding process. They like that he played his entire college career on national TV and that he thrived played in one of the biggest fishbowls in sports: Notre Dame.

"The scrutiny of being the quarterback at Notre Dame and the head coach at Notre Dame is tough," said Clausen, who is 6-foot-3, 225 pounds. "And I think it'll prepare me really well for failure at the next level too." (I know you can't change an outright quote, but it was too much fun and since when did that ever stop "the media" before!)

Clausen's other advantage, according to scouts, is that since he was left-back in the 6th grade he's already 22 and has already been away from home to play football -- meaning the transition to the pro lifestyle won't be an issue besides the fact he will now have millions of dollars. The other top-rated quarterbacks in the upcoming draft -- Sam Bradford of Oklahoma and Colt McCoy of Texas, to name two -- went to college in their home states, never had close to a .500 season, made multiple trips to the downtown athletic club for Heisman ceremonies, played for or won National Championships, didn't help cost their coach his job and never got a black eye in a late night bar fight.

To be fair, I don't know that Clausen will necessarily be a bust.  I just see him more in the middle of the pack of eligible quarterbacks and not at the top.  In either case, it's quite amazing how rosy the picture can be painted for Clausen when you leave out a few things and make a few excuses for him.  It's all in the writing... but you can judge for yourself.